have found love in the most of obscure places.... 

Love in the most gentle of hearts ...

In the most dangerous realms ..

In the most monstrous of people ...

I have felt love manifested in those blinded by hate,

To those deceived by life,

To those living the utmost lie ...

To those most terrified by the truth that is love!!!


In all this findings, I find myself giving my love ever so freely ...

Like a wave being held far too long, it crashes fervently when it finally is allowed freedom.

Love love love ...

Made me stupid, made me a fool, made me exist, made me cry, made me bitter and vain and ignorant and scorned ...

And yet and foremost - it made me feel loved.

It might have been for a moment, for a season, for years and decades ...

And it lasted through time, space and happiness and grief.


Today, now, I still feel love burst through my every pore.

My breathing my living my person.

I might not say it out loud for fear to chase away the reason I feel so.

But deep inside this insipid being that I truly can be ...

I rejoice to know that love and the ability to love have not given up on me.


Love - imperfection glorified and celebrated and in me impersonified. 

By amilala - Write comment
Posted in: Love Found - See the comments - Community: Solutoins For Relationships.. - Share


This title has become my most used phrase now. To many, this might seem insipid and well, ignorant and kinda childish.
Well my sympathies for those who think so. othing like telling one self to have the best of both worlds. Going through an experience so so enriching no matter how bitter and excruciating but and also knowing that it is but a phase .. it's insanely and immensely flabbergasting...
My mind's distracted and right now I am exactly where I always land on when am here on my road to any form of relationship ... Hahaha ... and I think i can use somebody!!!
Stupid stupid me . ... I mean seriously, how do you do it??? How do you totally and irreversibly use somebody???
I am still hurting at this insanity and cruelty meted out to me ( yes, i did allow myself to be used, I guess) ... and still can not use anybody!!! Is this making sense?? I hope not. I'd hate to know there is or are people out there as insane and in as much hurt as I am in.
I cry myself hoarse. I'm lonely even when I am most safe and secure.
There is a tunnel. An end - oh i know there is. Because, MOnStErS, you might be everywhere and amongst "them" too, and yet, the overpower not only me but my blindness you so intricately shrouded for me.

He is real, bless his soul, and he is sincere. But they all start that way don't they??? Oh waitaminute ... well not all of them do. Miss you i do, but only when am saddest, and surely this is so not a good thing eh.
Curse you i don't - can't and won't take the REGRET of stooping this low. But hell ya, your phase will begin when mine ends. And dear dear Orange mithai, yours is fast approaching de.

This lady in a book gets dumped by her husband outta nowhere. She tells her confidant she feels like she's been punished but that's what's worse is not knowing why. I breathed her and felt each word resonate through my every being. And all thanks to you Mo (not that you deserve any and I so wish I wasn't in this state where am actually thanking you for this painful dreadful "connection"!!!)!!!!!

Sahil  says don't think about it too much and let it pass. After all it's just a phase. I am going to listen to what he says.
He too is just a phase (tastes bitter to say this but....) however so long he's there, atleast let this phase be beautiful and peaceful.

That said ... Have a little faith in me.

Impishly still.
Mi.



By amilala - Write comment
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